As I am on my way back to Lagos I am just preparing this ready reckoner to help me with my constant battle to keep money in my pocket. This is never successful as I always fall for the following:
Ways people ask for money in Lagos.
- Good morning sah
- Oga how now?
- Welcome sah
- How was the flight?
- How are you today sah?
- How is the family?
- How is madam?
- How are (my) your children?
- How are my friends (referring to the kids)?
- How was your night?
- How was your day?
- How is your health sah?
- Anything for your people sah?
- It is your world sah.
-I hate to bother you sah.
- Park here sah
- Oya reverse
-Standing very close and smiling
-Hugging you like a long lost relative
And of course the very direct - "everyone lie down on the floor and give us your money and GSM handsets" which I have been lucky not to experience so far.
Other suggestions welcome. I will compile a list and maybe we can get it printed and hand it out to people as they come off the plane!
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17 comments:
You missed one vital blessing: Happy weekend sah!
As its intended to stretch across two days, it means you have to pay double ;-)
I was recently walking through Lagos Island and a young boy (~4 yrs old) held onto my leg as I walked FOR ALMOST 5 BLOCKS just to get some cash. Now that's persistence!
We also got the Army asking for money to protect the streets during the elections. Firstly, I object because they're always in the safe spots not the ones we all know are going to have trouble and secondly they didn't make me feel at all safe as they pointed a gun at the car!
jeremy - damn. how could i forget the weekend one. and also happy sallah as I head for the mosque.
Cultural- now that is persistence. I assume he did not follow you home and still lurking outisde your house as we speak? It happens.
Anything for the boys?
and of course..man mi bawoni?
Bros, your bois dey hech o!
Oga, make bois drink small tin na.
Go sah, ur car is safe with me
Gob bless your family sah
oga u fine o
make i come sah?
ogau dey shine oh.
me: Oga chairman, asiri a bo o
toks-boy: ma fi obo lo mi...Asiri mi bo
Well done sah
"and maybe we can get it printed and hand it out to people as they come off the plane!"
lmao
-you are very correct sah
-dont worry yourself i will carry it for you sah
You people are so cynical, haba can’t a person ask after your well being,
Oga Toks, how is Aunty Mandy, help me greet her, Oga and how is she finding our hard Country………… and yourself Sah… will I see you tomorrow Sah… you know it’s month end sah….. …….. You don’t have change Sah … (well I accept £ $ or N)
The other cool one is when you buy something worth say N400 and give them a N500 note then they proceed to bring out 5 of the dirtiest most disgusting N20 notes you’ve ever seen.
Oga are you going Sah, Oga me, why you de do your people like this, we are loyal Sah, ( I also take Visa and Amex and no I’m not proud)
oh i had forgotten so many of these. babatunde, the change one always gets me. its like they have a special pocket where they keep those "special notes". It creeps me out everytime.
Another one is - Oga you don remember me?
Me : for me to remember you would that not have to have been predicated on us having previously met? encountered? cross paths?
Oloshi - Oga that grammar pass me oh. but r we not all brothas?
Me: oh ok. Here is N200. Doh!!
We also have, "Bros, wish (which) levels, na?"; "Wetin de?"
lmao @Pseudo-Independence
Lol!! You got my favourite one in there - "Anything for your people sah?"
There's also - "Oga, we too wan enjoy like una!"
and the legendary - "Happy {insert day of the week}" - I have found this is no longer confined to Sundays and religious holidays!
Too funny! Last Decemebr I heard "Big bros! You too dey! You too deyyyy!" LOL
There are also all the airtime credit related ones, mostly used by known people.
"Madam/Oga, Please buy credit for me".
"Madam/Oga, Abeg raise me credit" e.t.c.
It is actually so common, it is now a marketing tool
"Starcomms introduces ‘Dashme’ Credit"
http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpage...4-2007-002.htm
LMAO @ "It is your world sah!" Who says that?
Just discovered your blog and I think I may have found a new source of procrastination (like I don't have enough already). Enjoying the blog!
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