So it appears that Atiku and Buhari cannot come to a meeting of the minds vis a vis boycotting the elections. Hmm. I wonder why ever that could be. Let's listen in on the conversation shall we.
A : So we are gathered here to discuss the matter of boycotting these elections and getting rid of this corrupt, fraudulent government.
B : So Mr VP. Na so? Is it because of your problems in-house?
A : Abeg no. Nothing like that. I am just sick to death of the way they have manipulated these elections.
B : How so? Is it different than 2007?
A ; Of course. In 2003 I was part of the rigging. I was a rigger and now I am getting rigged. Don't you understand. Anyway let's move on. My suggestion is that we all join together, boycott these elections, ask for some time to unify our parties, propose me as the unity Presidential candidate and you as VP and then between our parties we can double up on the rigging thereby planting two ballots for every one of theirs.
B : Sounds like a great idea except for one small detail. Don't want to make a big deal out of it but I think I should be the Presidential candidate.
A : Because wetin?
B : Because people still associate you with the present government what with you being you know Vice President and having been in power for 8 years so there is just the slightest chance that they might still see you as a money grabbing, contract awarding, ballot box stuffing charlatan only out to line his pocket for another four years. Me on the other hand would be a breath of fresh air.
A : Fresh air ko. Look my honourable friend. You are speaking to the Vice President of this great nation so you better mind yourself oh. And after all have you not already enjoyed the fruits of your labour? Have you not chopped from the high table whilst I have been kept at bay. Na only you wan hold the key for Central Bank? And the excess crude account? Please just vote for me and in four years time I will hand it over to you.
B : In four years? You will just hand over like that abi? Like OBJ just handed it over to you? Do you take me for a fool? I have been President of this country before and I know how it works. Once your yansh reach the inner sanctum of Aso Rock na im I no go hear from you again. MTN, Glo, Celtel, Nitel no coverage. I beg please.
A : My friend you know what I don't think I can work with you. Pat Utomi step forward sir. You are an officer and a gentleman so how about I be President and you be VP and then you can implement all your economic ideas that are going to make me, i mean this country, great again?
No? Where is that Chris Okotie?
It was always going to be a long shot to get this collection of egocentrics and power hungry maniacs to agree on anything especially once you fully understand the vast scope of what Nigeria is going to offer in the next 8 years.
Every indication is that once the charade of the elections is over and things have settled down that an economic boom is going to take place in Nigeria. The private sector will actually start to get some teeth and we will get away from the "contract culture" we currently find ourselves in where people are prepared to sell their grandma (and grandpa) for a few million Naira.
My hope springs eternal. I cannot wait.
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8 comments:
yay!!! FIRST!!!
Well said, Toks.
anonymous - not being rude but maybe you just need to get out more?
April - thank you my sista.
Toks, when you have attracted the "First comment" crowd it is a sure sign that you've arrived..
The only thing they can agree on is that they are the chosen ones and that the rest of us don't matter
LOL!! This Atiku-Buhari dialogue piece is hilarious. Poor Pat and Chrisie boy.
babtunde - i am still new to this blog thing but is there a prize for commenting first? have i missed something? and not even to comment, but just to say yay first???
saymama - i would not be surprised to hear that this imaginary conversation is not for off.
thanks to you all for dropping by
Hi Toks, on the very active blogs, http://atrios.blogspot.com/index.html for example, there are a whole sub-species of basement dwellers who sit at their screen constantly refreshing so as to be able to post the first of 100's of comments on a thread, they then congratulate themselves (no, I don't get it either) When you've got that kind of fan stalker, then you've finally arrived in blogsville.
babatunde - na wa for you o. why you go ask iyawo about my white shoes again. i have kept them lovingly wrapped up in the cupboard waitng for the first owanbe opportunity to whip them out. now she is on guard again.
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