Wednesday 17 January 2007

I am Troubled.

I am troubled
And I can’t sleep
I am troubled by the news
That two more have hanged
One decapitated by the hanging
Hanged because they were barbarians
Committed atrocities.
And this makes it alright?
Show me the logic
I am troubled.

I am troubled
That more troops are on the way
This can only mean one thing
Its clean up time
This can only mean one thing
Many more will die
Anything that stands in the way
Of the final assault
Will be laid to waste
The war can not be lost
I am troubled.

I am troubled
That even in the very place that I call home
We still cannot reach consensus
On the outcome of the census
Troubled that we spend so much time
Debating, hating, frustrating
Who cares if it is 140 or 200m?
Only those for whom those numbers
Translate into political and financial gain
Never mind the daily welfare
Of how ever many there are
I am troubled.

I am troubled
That I am about to uproot my loved ones
From their solid foundations
To a place where the truth changes
Depending on who is telling it
To a country seemingly built
On loose foundations
Moral, financial, spiritual
Where solid forms dissolve into shadows
At the merest inspection
I am troubled.

I am troubled
That I am looking at my home
With rose tinted glasses
That will be soon shatter
As soon as we are on ground
And that one day
My kids will turn to me
Eyes red with rage and sorrow
And ask the dreaded question
Why did you bring us here?
I am troubled.

3 comments:

uknaija said...

Toks...don't beat up yourself. Remember your children could also end up asking- why did you not take us back to our roots?

As we used to sing in primary school...Do your best and leave the rest...

9jamommy said...

I definitely feel you on all the political atrocities going on now. Don't worry about bringing your kids to Nigeria, it's their home, and they can always go back when they are older if they don't like it. As long as you're doing what you feel is best.

Toksboy said...

uknaija and 9jamommy - thanks to you both for calming my nerves. in my spirit i feel it is best for all to come home so that they can be immersed in their culture and history at least for a little while but there is always that nagging doubt about life in naija. Well it is all in god's hands now.Thanks for dropping by and for the positive words.