So apologies for the silence but the wheels have been spinning and rubber has been burning and life has been moving at the speed of light. What? Another week gone by? You don't say. So much has been happening, is happening, was happening.
However this post is all about my mother. It all started with the death of one of her best friends as detailed in my previous post. The fact that this lovely lady was younger did not help matters. Bad enough when you are at death's doorstep at 72 but when 68 year olds are leaving you behind well it preys on the mind. And it has been preying on hers. So much so that she has been quite poorly. However this is not a shout out for sympathy.
Last week after knowing her for some 40 odd years I heard my mother swear and cuss for the first time ever. The reason for this was understandable. It was that old foe NEPA. Having been deprived of electricity for weeks and with both generators having decided to give up the ghost together she found herself having to sit out on the balcony all day just to breathe. Maybe it was unfortunate that I chose this very time to call her to check on her wellbeing. It was then that she swore. The dam broke. The years of quiet middle class respectability went out the window.
To be frank it was quite scary. It was only one line but still it was like a blow to the solar plexus. It was like I was speaking to a stranger. As is my wont I have spent a long time deliberating about this outburst and to be honest with you I am scared. Not for her. She will be alright Insha Allah. But for me. For my children. It seems so long ago we would be sitting in front of NTA and then all would go dark. "Ahh NEPA" we would all scream as we scrambled around for candles and torches and made our way outside to play various games or tell scary tales. We would also catch crickets and roast them as a snack. This is all a good thrity years ago!! Thirty years and yet here we are with my mother sitting on the balcony sweating because NEPA has struck again? After thirty years? Nothing has changed?
So I pictured myself thirty years from now. In the twilight of my years. Is this the fate that awaits me? Will my children phone me only to hear me cussing out the bastards that run NEPA \ the Government whilst I sit sweltering and bloated from the heat on the verandah of my home sucking in fumes from slow moving traffic? I feel ashamed. I feel I should have done more. I feel I should do more.I must do more to make sure it does not happen.
But what can I do?
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5 comments:
I felt the same way last week when my mum called and it was the same thing..."no light"...I felt so bad...yeah, I do not know what to do either...I can not solve the problem of Nigeria...but I hate knowing my mum has it that way...and here I am...in my oh so comfortable life...
Yeah, I am thinking of buying those solar stuff for the roof...I have been thinking about it for a while...
I know very well the feeling that I should do more, I think part of that is the belief that how you treat your parents is an indication of how your kids will treat you, when you combine that with the fear we all have of growing old........... uneasy........ is the word that comes to mind, God knows having lost both my parents that I should have done more.
I think that for many of our generation (40's) one of the driving factors in our lives is financial security so we don't have to rely on "ungrateful" children in our old age.
As for your mom, I'm sure she will be OK she has dealt with it for so long sometimes frustrations weld through, remember also as you grow older you lose some inhibitions. Why not go out and buy her a brand new generator, its only money?
Talking about NEPA, ideal scenario would be 2 gens apply the MTN model "12 on 12 off" with a nice automatic switch over, add a server room sized UPS to manage the switchover then combined with whatever hours NEPA decide to give you, your good 24-7.
Finally, I feel your pain, when will things actually start to get better, we are going home with the belief that we can, we will, make things better, then nonsense like this stares us in the face, it’s like when buying a car, you have to take into account when you can and can’t go in it, and you sometimes think, what’s the point, NEPA never goes in Hertfordshire, and hey while my Porsche might get keyed once in a while no one is going to point a gun in my face and demand the keys.
Nice post. Just choose your sector/niche and excel in it and you would have inspired some other people to do more to. Inspiration begets inspiration.
This post is however at variance with your believe in Yar'Adua. Personally, I thot u were really exercising blind faith in the man. I have nothing against him but really the task of changing this country is down to one man. It is down to all of us!
How can we change Nigeria? Everything seems to be going downhill, when i was growing up in the early eighties, there was constant supply of electricity, but now 28 years later there is none, at least your mum can sit outside to catch a breathe of fresh air, where my parents live, you dare not go out for fresh air, for the fear arm robbers, traffic jam/gridlock to travel from ikeja to VI will take 8 hours......
At this stage i don't even want to complain anymore, we need help in Nigeria, we need people with thinking heads that can rescue from this dire situation that we all find our selves in.
what did she say?
what word did she use?
love this line:The years of quiet middle class respectability went out the window.
and the ensuing feeling it evoked in you: fear.
my mum is about your mum's age. the worst word i have ever her use is "oh blast!"
my inherited middle class sensibilities unfortunately ( or unfortunately as the case may be) allow me to swear, even in front of the kids. I apologize, and explain that its wrong etc etc, that grownups make mistakes etc, but ol' boy life in naij can be very frustrating. ( i know i know its not an excuse,but boy, is it liberating!) . Growing in nigeria, Nepa took light only occasionally, and where i lived, there was always an announcement of when the power would be cut. little did we know then, that that was the fairy-tale phase of Nigeria.
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