Oh my people.The time has come. The truth has come home to roost. The bird has flown the coop and other such alarmist phrases. As usual it started with the words every father learns to dread . "Dad we need to talk!!" our Eldest Daughter said in a manner that made it clear we were going to exchange more than pleasantries. My first action is to drag Iyawo somewhere private so she can give me the low down so I can determine if my heart (and wallet) will be able to handle the upcoming conversation. This time both would be greatly affected.
She wants to go clubbing with her friends, Iyawo confided nonchalantly. Now you know I love the woman but her oyinbo upbringing has totally ruined her. Clubbing ke? But she is not 24-25 years old yet as we had previously discussed? You know, when she was born? I enquired weakly. I mean the girl is only 15. She still has a good 10 years and several degrees to go before she can start going clubbing. I absolutely refuse and that is the last I want to hear of it.Clubbing ko.Clubbing ni. Nonsense and ingredient. End of story. Finito. Don't try me oh. No more discussion about the matter. Full stop.
And so it was that I waved her goodbye last Saturday as she made her way out clubbing with her mates. A collection of expats and locals all with car and driver at their beck and call. I tried to tell her that in my day but ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Not interested in the middle ages apparently. She already takes history at school.
So from me some final strict warnings:
Make sure you keep that phone on.
Make sure you text me every 15 minutes.
Make sure there is no smoking , drinking or bad behaviour.
Make sure you only go to one place and stay there.
Make sure if any man with a MOPOL escort tries to talk to you you shout "EFCC".
Actually maybe I should come with you I pleaded clinging on to her hem. She managed to brush me off after relieving me of several thousand Naira in the bargain.
Chei man dey suffer oh. I am outnumbered now. It is just me against these four women in the house. So what chance do I have? My son is not old enough yet to fight on my side and is prone to change allegiances at the mention of the word - doughnut.
So what is a father to do? Should I be letting her go clubbing in Lagos filled as it is with armed robbers, drink drivers, trigger happy cops and worst of all lecherous politicians? Or should I just do as she says and chillax (whatever that means).
Oh there may be trouble ahead..
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24 comments:
What? You let her go clubbing at 15?
Come to think of it, when did I start clubbing? 17...but this was in London...
Scratches head, actually, if there's a driver, Mopol, but nooooo! at 15? She's too young na!
###This is the ranting of a young lady who is trying to work out what she'd say to her child when she eventually has one###
This one pass oyibo oh. I live in the U.S and I don't think oyibo ppl let their kids go clubbing at 15, I dunno abt the U.K though. 15 is way too young, 17 might be more acceptable.
Chioma
Love your blog, it got me laughing! :) I think 15 is a bit too young to go clubbing.Although I hate to jump into conclusions, but I believe peer pressure would make it extremely hard for her not to do the things you forbade her to do ie Drinking or smoking. Im a young lady and im saying this from experience.Also she is likely to be mixing with all sorts of people including the sort you would not want her to mix with and you have to remember she at 15 she is very vulnerable. So perhaps she should stick to events like house parties where she can still have fun with her friends.
Oops, I apologise for typos.I have to remember to read over comments before I post them!
Toks! Clubbing ke? I believe they just went to hang out at cafes,karaoke bars,malls and cinema definitely not clubbing. 17 yrs is ok not 15. If your daughter is responsible what about the guys they'll meet at these clubs. Some guys look younger than their age while most girls look older.Hope she enjoyed it sha. I think you should ask her if she enjoyed it then you can ask her where they went to later
If they go with a chaperone. Preferably a responsible young adult.
Oh no you did not!!!!! At 15? Ahh...your jand upbringing don ruin you too. I'm 22 with my 1st degree and abt to get the 2nd one, yet my curfew is 6.00pm.
Like I said OH NO YOU DIDN'T...Lol
Like the last comment, "Oh you didn't", with fingers snapping and head shaking.
Seriously, 15?????
I beg no allow that again,wheher una be alakowe or not,she is just a child and still need your proctection.This is Lagos and all manner of people are on the street and i guess you dont want your daughter to mix with wrong company.A word is enough for the wise.
Big bros this is not safe o! thought u put your foot down and dash them N200 for compensation
with what i hear about Lagos clubs at 23 I will only go with big emeka and teetotal Jubril.
I read about the shootings on madams blog, it's not safe at all they should attend house parties only!!
did you read about Akon dancing raunchily with a 15yr old girl at one of his concert- he thought she was over 21
imagine what those yahoo boys do after getting few dollars, they believe they are entitled to any girl..and they like fresh young ones
hope i'm scaring you well well!!
My brother, 15 is too young,she is still a baby and a babygirl at that.Nigeria is not that safe.
ok, so i'm going to jump on bandwagon(which i really HATE to do....), 15 is way 2 young for her to officially be allowed! AT least 16, I would actually think 18!
Secondly re your NEPA issue, get an inverter! Just had a 5KVA installed, and my kids love me! Instead of rationing diesel etc and burning a bigger hole in the ozone layer than is absolutely necc, this powers the essentials incl fridge freezer, dstv, fans, 1 ac, lights etc. It needs 6 hrs of charging (with nepa/gen) to give you about 12hrs. It costs approx 600k in total, but I tell you we've already saved over 20k in diesel in one week... do the math!
Oh dear. I am sure your daughter hates us all :) A responsible adult in tow might help.
just to jump on the bandwagon, 15!! I hope they are back by 7.00pm.
No seriously at 15 they are IMO too young to be out clubbing especially in GIDI, I know the stuff me and the boys got up to with kids who thought that because daddy had released them they were Adults.
But hey this is a blog, I'm sure you know her better than us anonymous busybodies.
Dear all
Thanks oh for all your comments. Of course by the time I put the blog up my mind was already made up. But it was still good to hear from the wider world especially the ones who are experiencing the Lagos scene currently.
To be fair she had only been once to a teen hangout with about a dozen or so other teenagers for about two hours so it was pretty controlled.
Anyway now she knows the deal as she has seen the comments come rolling in that "ain't nothing going on but the rent!"
Hahahahaha!!!! This was too funny.
I understand your grief, but ask yourelf, is she a good girl? Do you trust her? Now, if you do, ask yourself and your wife, do you know the friends she went with? Do you know their parents? Do you trust these kids to make the right decision?
I think 15 is too young, but at 15, I went to the club after the prom. In fact I went to the club at 14 after the prom (in Abidjan). I could only go to the club once a year after the prom. Once I turned 16 and had graduated from high school, I was allowed a little more reign (probably because i was on my way to college and dorm life).
So, take heart, you are allowing your daughter to get some life experience and am sure she will not end up a clueless, oversheltered child.
Take it easy.
NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...
So I was right then.She went to hang out with her frends . I have an idea of what goes on in their heads depite the fact that my kids are only 8.
I will agree with Solomon... I went to the club at 14 unbeknownst to my parents(this was in Abidjan)... I rather have her tell you where she goes and with whom than sneak out...
And there are few things better than a parent's trust in his child and vice versa...
I agree with the majority of replies here that 15 is too young to go clubbing anywhere o. As a mother of a 15 year old male here in the UK, he'd better not ask o. Curfew is currently 6pm in winter, 7- 8pm summer. Depending on how dark it gets. He knows the bottom line.
I know parents who do not even let their teenagers go out alone at any time. That is also not good. I know that finding a balance between discipline and freedom/independence can be difficult. Parenting is tough especially during this weird teenager-growing-into-a-young adult-period. But one has to find a balance. I'll definitely agree with 17/18. It really should be eighteen which is when they become adults and can legally take alcohol if they choose to do so. One has to remember the danger of drugs and alcohol. Less likely to cave in to peer pressure as they get older.
so basically what you are saying is that by the time she is 17/18 nigeria will be safer?
you all know as well as i do that by forbidding a child to do something only makes them want to do it more..especially as you have already given her a taste of freedom.
where else is there for her to go in lagos?
silverbird?
the palms(which is shot up at a regular basis)
at least if she goes to a club and stays there the securiy will be tight...obviously if it is full of expats and if the young kids are going there the older people aren't so she would be with a majority of people her age.
maybe its time that parents tried to stop running scared. we can decieve ourselves that one day nigeria will be a safe place but that is a long way away.
it is much obviously safer for her to go out with her friends who you know and who's parents you know with her phone on and her whereabouts your knowledge..than for her to sneak out and jump in a car with anybody and go goodness knows where without you knowing.
children with no freedom eventually go stir crazy especially in a place like this after they have come from england where they have small amounts of freedom such as being able to walk down the high street etc.
why not let the girl out every once in a while as long as she is well behaved which i suspect she is.
let us stop running scared and living in constant fear. we cant lock them away for ever.
lol.. u are so adorable... she'll be fine... you've raised her well Im sure... i had to sneak around to club for years and years... trust me.. its better this way. Im so proud of you toks... lol
Uncle Toks, Wallahi when i eventually get married, i want Boys.
Daddy we need to talk ke? *sighs*
As single mother to a daughter I have shaky knees thinking about getting to this bridge.
We only pray to handle it well when it does occur, abi?
23? You are too kind. I was thinking 30 before she is allowed to watch Channel O and wear make-up. I kid, I kid!!
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