I'm so tired of fXXXing all morning and afternoon.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I am not one to swear as I know my readers are a delicate sort and any sort of profanity will send them rushing for the smelling salts. The less frequent readers who read the title of this post and expected some treatise about my athletic sexual life will also be somewhat disappointed as this post is not about that at all (obviously that would require a book in itself. A small tome. Something along the lines of War and Peace.)

No dear reader this post is about the amount of fxxxing that has been going on on my TV over the past few days. I mean I had first noticed this last year but since I don't spend my time in front of the TV in the daytime it has sort of slipped my attention until now. Over the past few days, working from home and having the box on for background company has been a revelation. Actually too much was revealed.

There has been language that is normally only reserved for after the watershed (9pm) in the Uk and as a matter of fact is not allowed on mainstream commercial channels at all in the US. For good reason. It is called decency. One programme was being broadcast at the exact time as the youngest troublemakers were returning from school and I imagine if, as is their habit , they had settled themselves comfortably in front of the tube to unwind they would have had a few choice things to say to us that evening at story time. And even more awkward questions.

There was frequent use of the F word, the A word, the T word and even more graphic presentations of said words. All this in broad daylight. I mean do we not have a regulator in this country? What does the Minister for Info. & Comms. actually make of this? Should this sort of thing be allowed? What happens during the kids holidays when they are home all day and will probably stumble across these programmes? These are movie channels that one day are showing a children's film and the next an "adult" one. Should DSTV's licence not be reviewed with a view to setting some standards? I am not sure but are they allowed to show these programmes at these times in South Africa?

The most bizarre thing about all this is that whilst all this effing and blinding is going on freely, any mention of the word God is bleeped out! What kind of world are we living in?

Oh Please Mr Momodu.. Give me a break!!

There are a few key words that immediately set my teeth on edge. Long time readers of my blog will know that these include but are not limited to Madonna, Tom Cruise, Lagos traffic and British Airways. This list is by no means exhaustive and as I get older and more crotchety I continually add to it. Today the honour falls to Mr Momodu – the publisher of Ovation Magazine.
For those not familiar with this glossy it is a celebration of everything shiny and bright in Nigeria (and now several other undeserving countries). Now despite the opening paragraph above I also adopt a live and let live attitude. (Wait now. Stop laughing). Don’t invade my space and I will surely stay out of yours. However over the past two weeks Mr Momodu via his column on the back pages of the This Day newspapers on Sunday has been pontificating about what is wrong with Nigeria and has therefore stepped into my space.

This week’s article was about the large number of VIPs we now have in our midst who go so far as to take their bodyguards everywhere with them. Even into Church where said bodyguard blocks the view of the regular, normal members of the congregation!! Mr Momodu questions why this is necessary when even the US President is often seen delivering speeches without some guard casting a shadow over him. Last week's article was no better.

So what’s my beef? Well, I refer back to said Ovation magazine as published by Mr Momodu which celebrated and continues to celebrate the “achievements” of some of the most dubious and odious characters in this country. As a matter of fact as far back as three years ago I started referring to the “Ovation lifestyle” meaning people who with no discernible means of income would be photographed in their huge mansions displaying the usual gold plated tat or lounging casually against a Rolls Royce or some other material indicator of their “arrival”.

I particularly remember the birthday party for a particular Anambra State godfather’s child whom I believe was turning two. If I recall correctly there was a full edition dedicated to this “celebration” including glitzy photos of the aforementioned mansion, Roller and other candied yams. Now as far as I am aware I have never read a single business journal here or abroad wherein the name of Mr Rivers State was mentioned as a great industrialist being that he invented this, manufactured that or produced the other. The fact that his elder brother was at that time sitting at the kitchen table with our then President speaks volumes.

So how can the publisher of a magazine who is happy to take money from all and sundry to appear in his rag then pontificate about said flotsam and jetsam if they start to believe the hype and act accordingly? Has he not himself legitimised their actions? Is he not sending the message that regardless of where and how you get your money that it does not matter? Is he not celebrating the very vices which he now denounces? Is this not what is called talking out of both sides of your mouth?

And the most galling bit of all is that having helped to create the monsters that regularly appear glossily in his glossy Mr Momodu sensibly decamped to the safety and relative calm of Ghana from whence he pontificates only popping into Nigeria to celebrate another occasion with another "big boy or girl".