Happy New Year.

Believe. Believe. Believe.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL.

The Great beyond.

I stand on the precipice
Palms all sweaty
Buffeted by the winds of change
Staring into the abyss
Swirling below me
Wondering if I am ready
To step into the unknown
Look behind me
How did I get here?
Did I leave a mark ?
Or just a trail?

I turn again
To face the darkness
Can I make out a light?
Or is it just an illusion?
What is in store for me
In that foggy greyness?
I wonder yet again.
Will I be a better Father? Husband?
Son? Brother? Friend? Uncle?
Will I plant seeds
That will feed generations to come?
Will I deliver
On my promise? All my promises?

There is only one way to find out
There is only one way
I shake my arms
To relax myself
And to stop myself
From shaking

Stand on my toes
Take some deep breaths
Say a quick prayer
And take a giant step
A giant leap of faith
Screaming


Into 2007.

Wish me well.

Random musings as the year ebbs out!

Oh no he didn't .

Last night I was on the computer jeje jeje reading up on the Saddam fiasco when I was summoned upstairs by Iyawo and FD (first daughter). They were watching a film called Doom, starring the Rock and one Naija guy like this ( I forget his name). Anyways they had come across a particular scene that they just had to share with me. Now in this film the Niaja guy was naturally the loud mouth, flash one (surprise?) and in this scene the Rock was standing on the stairs calling them to action. One by one they all filed past him up the stairs. As all of them were going they were showing their faces however when it came to my homie they focused on his feet on which he had? You guessed it -White loafers!! Not as funky as mine but ever so cool. But this is not why my beloveds had called me. Oh no. It was to show me the Rock's reaction as the guy went past him. He looked at the shoes and rolled his eyes. See even the Rock is jealous. I now rest my case on this topic for 2006.

Social gladfly.

I have spent the last couple of days being a social gladfly. I have been mixing with the creme de la creme of Naija society at the engagement (on Thursday) and wedding (yesterday) of Kemi - daughter of Chief Shonekan- ex Head of State of Nigeria. It was a very posh affair. The engagement was held at the Chelsea town hall and the wedding at St. Paul's with a reception at the Four Seasons Hotel in Mayfair. We arrived fashionably late for the engagement - 8pm. It started at 2pm. I admit this was taking African time to an extreme but childcare problems etc. Anyways there was a band in full swing when we arrived. The lovely couple did the dances and were sprayed quite naturally in dollars (they are American based). You can take the Naijas out of Naija but....

On to the wedding at St Paul's. What a fantastic edifice (the church, not the wedding - which is a sacred union between two people till death do them part. Which for some people is not soon enough. Not me oh. Iyawo will be reading this later and I don't want any New year palaver. For me, death will be too soon and I can only pray that she follows me into eternity. On the other hand if she truly loves me she can always go ahead and pave the way. Darling over to you.). Lived in London all this time and never been there. Very nice ceremony. Funniest bit was watching all the posing and vogueing going on. All sorts of techno camera and phones on display. We Naijas sef. You just know that there were phones ringing all throughout the ceremony. You would think that after the first "accidental" ring that everyone else would turn off their mobiles but oh no.

Another thing happened which really warms my heart. There was a chap there with his family. Wife, daughter and two sons. Now I am not au fait with the Catholic way of things but during one of the prayers a few people stood up. You should have seen the way one of the boys was looking at his dad when he stood up for this prayer. It is hard to describe but very much akin to seeing his father in a whole new light. Like maybe they never go to church together and this was the first time he had seen his dad in a religious setting. The mixture of surprise, embarrassment, shock, respect, pride on his face. Priceless. Funny how we always see our parents as one dimensional whereas we of course are fully rounded (as if).

At the wedding reception which was packed I overheard the following - bear in mind that a lot of the guests had jetted in from the US which is where the couple are based. "So how many more cousins do we have that I don't know about?" This from a babe that had just been introduced to another one of her extended family. I had to laugh.

I also met one of my "heroes" - Major General Yakubu Gowon. He was the Chairman. There with his beautiful wife (is not the true measure of a man the fact that he has a loving wife to support him through thick and thin whom he equally supports, of course. Darling) Gave a very short and entertaining speech. The Mc introduced him thus, "he came to power through a military coup and was removed from power via a military coup". Personally, not sure if that is the most appropriate introduction at a wedding?

All in all though a great evening. So sha, just keep an eye out for me in Ovation magazine. I am not the one in the white shoes. I left them at home. Out of consideration. For the bride. I would only have distracted people from her radiant beauty.

Out of the mouths of babes.

My four year old daughter has a routine when she goes to the loo. She must have the door fully shut and likes to be left in peace. The problem being that the minute she finishes her business she creates all sorts of havoc with loo rolls , magazines etc. So my routine is to always give her a lecture before she locks herself in. "Don't touch anything. Call me when you finish" etc. So two days ago she goes through her routine, I go through mine and then I realise she has been silent for a while (never a good sign) so I decide to go and check up on her. This is what I find. She is covered in hand washing liquid, she has emptied out a packet of baby wipes. The walls and floor are covered with soap and she is actually washing the tiolet seat with what is left of the toilet roll (most of which is in the loo (another £90 for a plumber)) when I walk in the door. " I thought I told you not to touch anything" I shout. " But dad I am not doing anything" she says, hands upheld and eyes wide in fake innocence. And then she smacks me for daring to suggest otherwise. Kids heh? If only you could leave them on the curb (but apparently you can't as patiently explained to me by the cops that brought her back home the last time). Just kidding.

Saddam Execution.

So do two wrongs make a right? Yes Saddam was an evil bastard but I still do not get how the West have any moral judgements left to determine right and wrong. And then to execute him on an Islamic Holy day? By hanging? how barbaric is that? As a Muslim it is a slap in the face (another one). I am sure there are those who will come back to say it was the Iraqis that executed Saddam and that they are Muslims so what is the problem? The problem is that the people that carried out the execution might bear Iraqi names and call themselves Iraqis but the puppet\pay master is back in DC or on the ranch in Texas.

The whole Iraq war thing has been discussed ad infinitum but I just want to say that it seems to me that if you start off an a shaky foundation, the structure that you try to build on it will never be solid and safe no matter the materials you use. Does anyone really believe that Iraq will be a showpiece of democracy in 10 years time? Look at Afghanistan? Even the American selected \elected President there is complaining about being abandoned now that the US attention is focused elsewhere on the "axis of evil". Actually is that axis not DC, London and Texas?

And so on to 2007. A great year. I can feel it. A year of momentous changes. A year of growth. A year of milestones.

I wish you all a happy new Year. Here's to 2007!

ABC News 419 report - My vent

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0e-pPfITts

I watched this for the first time today and I am not sure why Nigerians are upset about it. It describes Lagos as a filthy, crime ridden s$%^hole - which it is and at the end it also describes the people that fall for the scams as guilty as the scammers themselves - which they are. All in all I thought it was a very well balanced piece. What's the problem? If we are not prepared to face the reality we need to wake up all smell the spilled fuel from the punctured pipelines. If we do not like what is being said about Lagos, Nigeria, Nigerians why don't we do something about it? International exposure, scrutiny and ridicule are a great way to ensure that we do not get too complacent and comfortable wallowing in the filth -physical, commercial, spirtitual etc that surrounds us.

I read a very interesting article whilst I was in Nigeria recently about corruption and how Nigerians generally tend to deal with it. The basic premise is that a family member either through hard work or connections gets a high ranking job. Immediately there is a party in his honour, relatives come out of the woodwork galore, his sub ordinates look on with admiration as he sweeps up every Naira in sight, he donates millions to his church\mosque-no questions asked? after all miracles can happen) within months he is buying a larger house, numerous cars and various girlfriends, taking expensive vacations abroad. He has "landed" and is looked on with envy. That my friends is the problem. It is only when we start asking this person serious questions and shunning them socially that the behaviour and mentality will change.

The chap from the EFCC that was interviewed on the ABC programme was one of the most interesting Nigerians I have ever met. I was at a presentation he did last year and his zeal and commitment was second to none. He was particularly concerned about the image of Nigerian abroad due to these internet scammers so not surprising that EFCC is now raiding these cafes. More grease to their elbows. Whilst it is okay for us to criticise the EFCC as OBJs personal grudge settlers, can anyone tell me when in the history of Nigeria has there been more fear and paranoia amongst our so called rulers. Taking Tafa down alone makes them super heroes in my book. I only pray that within the next year we see more of these clowns - http://www.saharareporters.com/pn001.php?dpid=32 - exposed for what they are.

Until we rid ourselves of these cancers we cannot expect to live in a healthy society or be healthy ourselves.

A thought occurred to me today.

Often we go through our lives
And complain about our lot
The hand that we’ve been dealt
The roads we have to plough
Sacrifices we have to make
Burden we have to bear.

And then we raise our heads
Only to find that all around us
Are others who look upon our
So called miserable existence
With a certain sense of envy
Cursing their luck and circumstances

Whilst admiring ours.

I ask Almighty God
To forgive me
My ingratitude
My selfishness
My faithlessness
My fears
My doubts
Despite all that he has done
And continues to do
For me.

Donald Duke

I feel down
Let down
My arms hang limply
By my side
I ache inside
Outside
All over
I try to find things
To block the pain
Not go insane
Think to myself
No! not again
History repeating itself.

My trust was used
Abused
Flung in my face
It was my fault
I too, believed

Promises, visions, motives

Lies?
I should have known
Been more astute
More aware
More reserved
All that glitters
But Aries blood
It’s all or nothing
In or out
Out or in.

So now the deed is done
I cannot even tell you
How I feel

To your face

You shut the door
You barred the gate
You built a fence
You walked away
Or did you run?
Oh never mind
What’s done is done
We’ll meet again
But remember this
You had my trust
My hopes and dreams
You sold them off
To the lowest bidder
For this my friend
Your day will come
Your day will come
Your day will come.

And until then

Because I still believe

I still believe

Oh I do believe

In this great land

In these great people
I will reach inside
And fan my embers

Into flames

Ignore your games
Be whole again
Be strong once more
Ready for the next battle
It’s coming soon
I can feel it
I can feel it
I can feel it
It’s coming soon
And this time
I WILL BE READY.

That is my promise

This is my vow.

For better for worse. No be so?

My people oh see me. Please be careful oh when choosing your significant other. You think you know them. You spend some time together. They seem perfectly normal and rational. No police record(abeg check it oh). No twitching, foaming at mouth or projecting of vomit. So you decide to take the plunge. See that is the first hint. Plunge. Means going down at a very speedy rate. Does not bode well does it? Ah, the big wedding day. You spend money you never even begin to earn. Your children's children will still be paying it off but of course all your close "relatives" and "friends" enjoy themselves yanfu, yanfu whilst giving you bucket with your name and picture on it as wedding gift. What's wrong with Benjamin Franklins picture you wonder? Or the Queen's picture for that matter? She looks especially good on the front of the £50 note. No be so?

Anyway years down the line your dearly beloved is going on holiday to NY and you innocently ask her to help you buy some shoes. Black business shoes. No problem. Slippers. Ditto. White leather, loafers, Giorgio Brutini with gold buckle. You know like they wear on Miami Vice (after all if you look like Ricardo Tubbs why not dress like him? Logical isn't it?). So this is where the palaver starts oh. White shoes? Why do you want white shoes? Where are you planning to wear them? Who is going to be with you when you are wearing them? Aha kilode? Nonsense and ingredient. I explain, patiently, that since I am now spending a lot of time in Naija I intend to wear it there where I will of course be the epitome of coolness in my pink Fubu short sleeves and white straight leg jeans.

I mean can you not see me down at the Eko Hotel getting admiring glances from the working girls. Don't jealous me oh. I'm just you know, down with it.

Anyway sha, she reluctantly arrived back with the white shoes. She then handed them over like they were radioactive or something, wrinkling her nose and what not. I could tell her opinion of me had changed. She was looking at me differently (like hm I better keep my eyes on this one. Next thing now he will be asking to try my pants and bra........ Again). She then called all the children to come and witness the event. Those one are now looking at me like I am Michael Jackson inviting them for a sleepover. They are thinking hmm I wonder if Social Services will put us in a good foster home when they put this yeye man away. I have suspicions sef say Iyawo has phoned our lawyer to ask if this one never pass "for worse".

Men, you should have seen me trying on those shoes. The soft leather, the whiteness, the gold buckle. Heaven oh. I could not wait to hit Naija to display.

Phase 2 - My sister has come to visit me at the hotel. As I am unpacking she notices my white shoes which I carefully unwrapped from their suede protective bag. "White shoes? Why do you want white shoes? Where are you planning to wear them? Who is going to be with you when you are wearing them?" Et tu sista? You know a prophet never gets the props he deserves in his own home but this is too much now. These people are trying to break me. Cast doubt in my mind. But I am a fighter. Me, I am going out in these shoes whether you people want to come or not. By next week I am sure I will be in City People magazine. London Big Boy arrives in white shoes. Believe.

Phase 3- Fast forward to Abuja. I am going out to dinner with two friends. I have already picked one up and then we go and pick up our female dinner partner. She is just finishing dressing so we wait in the sitting room. When she finishes we all head off and I cannot contain myself any longer. Aha. Is the woman blind. Can she not see how I am glowing from head to foot? Why no comment? So I asked her. Aha, what do you think of my shoes now? Can you believe what she says. "Oh I thought I noticed someone wearing white shoes but I thought to myself it could not possibly be. So I did not focus on it". Imagine.

Phase 4.- Back in London. One week now. Iyawo has not asked me any questions about my shoes oh. She has made small talk about business in Naija, parents, friends, schools for the kids, politics and other irrelevant subjects like that. I know she is purposely avoiding asking about the shoes for fear that I tell her that I wore them to her parents place and they are therefore returning the dowry ( and the bucket with our pictures on it) in the hope that we will return their daughter whilst she is still young enough to attract a real man.

I never tell her that the first hint of sun we get in this country my shoes are coming out and we are all going for a walk on the High street. And this time we are going to walk on the same side of the street. I will even hold her hand sef. For better for worse indeed.