My father is slowly dying
he is shrinking away before my very eyes
every day he disappears a little further
takes up less space in the bed
his movement is now minimal
every breath ragged and painful
blind from diabetes
he lives in a world of darkness
but now he sees things
imagines things
remembers things
decade old memories jumbled
with things that happened yesterday
dead friends remembered
he struggles to finish his sentences
but the humour is still there
the sarcasm remains
amidst his shallow breathing and bed sores
even now he still makes us laugh. Out loud.
My father is slowly dying
he has been my hero all my life
I've spent a lifetime trying to please him
to win his love and affection
now he says he's always loved us
he asks us to stick together
he makes us promise to
look after the grandchildren
and his wife, our mother
he wants me to cut down on my exercising
his memory is obviously gone
I haven't exercised for 20 years
but I tell him no problem
I will start straight away.
My father is slowly dying
we gather round for his final words
he rambles here there and everywhere
words of wisdom mixed with nonsense
prayer mixed with odd unintelligible questions
I feel I'm looking in a mirror
sometime far into the future
we've always been too alike physically
so this is the fate that will befall me
sometime in the years ahead
I better get some joy from living
Squeeze some juices out of life
I try not to think of the near future
when his ragged breaths will cease
my sister has already cried river naija
being the eldest and a man
I have only cried a lake.
My father is slowly dying
his skin is stretched tightly across his bones
so tight it is almost translucent
shiny like it's been polished
I tell him that we love him
I tell him we will miss him
We wont know what to do without him
He has always been there for us
He smiles his secret smile
He has said his goodbyes
He'll be leaving soon
I wish him safe travels
He once told me that death was not an ending
but the beginning of another phase
for as we wave the dead adieu from this earth
so others stand at another shore
welcoming them home.
As you go into the dark night Father
please always remember
we love you now and always
and forever more.
And for those on the other shore
waiting patiently to welcome him
we hand him over grudgingly
please take care of him, this gentleman,
for he was truly gentle, and a man.
(p.s- he can be a bit cranky sometimes
but he means no harm.)
Wednesday, 28 July 2010
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